The Evolution of A White Knight

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To those unfamiliar with the term, White Knighting is basically the act of “rescuing” a “damsel in distress,” or a “perceived damsel in distress.”

The term evokes the image of a helpless lady by the side of the road, surrounded by big bad highwaymen who want to steal her handbag, or money, or whatever it is that highwaymen go for. Just as the lady begins to face the reality that there is no way out for her, she starts to hand over whatever it is the highwaymen want in the hopes that they’ll leave her alone afterwards. They’ve promised her they will, but who knows? As the tears roll down her face, the highwaymen snicker and probably high-five each other…

…until…

Just at the last moment, a knight dressed in shining white armor comes along, unsheaths his sword from its scabbard, and decapitates the highwaymen in one fell swoop. He continues to ride, and the lady looks at him with longing eyes, hoping against hope he’ll turn around so she can meet her rescuer.

Right before he rides off into the sunset, never to be seen again, he does that trick where the horse goes up in its hindlegs and lets out a triumphant “neighhhhhh,” turning around and riding the other direction. When he passes the lady, he scoops her up onto his horse. “My hero!” she yells, as they ride away into the distance, to live happily ever after.

OK, that doesn’t happen, but that’s how the process plays out in White Knight’s mind. He believes that if he “rescues” the “damsel,” he’ll be rewarded with sex–an important point to keep in mind. Most White Knights ride the Moral High Horse, believing themselves to be Kind, Good, Different From Most Men because they Respect Women So Much.

It’s bullshit. They just want to get laid, and have bought into the idea that acting in such a way is the surest path to get some pussy. They will never admit it, because it goes against the Code Of Honor they adhere to–they were just doing it to be nice, remember?–but the inherent idea is that if they provide Rescuing, the woman will reward them with Sex. It’s a transactional game for White Knights, nothing more or less, despite their screeching to the contrary.

Since nobody really rides horses into the sunset anymore (and I haven’t met a highwayman in years), I’ll highlight some acts we see in the modern age that can be considered “White Knighting:”

–Giving a “poor” female money

–Trying to show her “how different and good and better” you are, when she tells you about how her past is full of “abusive” men. (This is abusive womens’ game, by the way–tell you how abusive every guy she’s ever dated has been. It’s a trap specifically designed for White Knights).

–When a guy punches another guy, or gets in a fight, to protect a woman’s “honor” and reputation. For example, if a man calls his girlfriend a dirty hosebag, loudly at a bar, every White Knight in the area will immediately perk to attention and jump to her defense. They will call him names, physically get between the man and woman, etc…all in the hopes that some female in the vicinity will notice “what a good guy” they are and invite them to bed, panties soaked from his moral superiority and “respect for women.”

–Being a girl’s amateur therapist, helping her resolve issues with her “ex” that she still talks to (and probably sleeps with from time to time). There’s nothing wrong with helping people, but when the dynamic becomes “she complains about what an asshole he is, so I tell her how pretty and great she is”–the guy’s White Knighting. And also, almost definitely not going to get laid.

So, how does a guy get this way? Well, there are several factors to consider. Firstly, there is the natural instinct to protect women. It’s an evolutionary mechanism that harkens back to a time when not only was “harken” a word, but also when women really did need protecting. This is still true, for example when a woman is pregnant or has just had a baby, but a woman giving birth in a cave was literally defenseless and it was the mens’ job to protect her. A woman giving birth in a hospital doesn’t face the same risks, but the instinct remains nonethless.

Another factor is the idea of Chivalry, when actual White Knight took an Oath to protect women and place their well-being before their own. To give one’s life to protect a woman’s was considered an honorable, reasonable thing to do. This is still an inherent idea in our modern culture, though it may not be as obvious as it once was. Nowadays, Chivalry makes itself known through cultural memes like “Women and children first” in the case of disaster relief. Children first, I understand. In older days, when women were the a scarce reproductive resource, I understand. But today, it makes no sense and comes off as cute at best, misandric at worst. So in sum, another factor is that our society “expects” you to behave in this way because “that’s just how it is.”

Third, it’s what women tell guys they like. That they like to feel protected, to feel safe, to feel secure, etc. And most of that is true, so when a woman tells some geeky kid she wants to feel safe, she isn’t lying. But what she isn’t telling him is, “not that I could ever actually feel safe around you, no matter how hard you try to demonstrate your safety to me, and even if you did, I could still never be attracted to you.” So that’s the third factor, guys taking womens’ advice on what women are attracted to.

Lastly, and most importantly for this post, it’s something guys turn to when they can’t get laid any other way. When their looks don’t cut it. When they have no money. When they have no Game. When they have money but still don’t get laid. When they have been trying for years to get laid doing what society told them would work, only to reach that point we all hit sooner or later where a man is forced to go, “fuck this shit, none of this works and I’m going to try something else instead.”

Which brings me to the reason I’m posting this: one of my brothers recently posted a video on Facebook which, to me, perfectly demonstrates “how a guy becomes a White Knight, and what a modern White Knight looks like.”

He looks, sounds, and behaves like this:

http://www.upworthy.com/when-this-guy-explains-why-women-wont-date-him-you-may-roll-your-eyes-but-2-minutes?c=ufb1

Watch that whole thing. It shows the White Knight’s Journey perfectly, and including the stage just beyond White Knight–Full-Fledged Mangina.

For the record, I think it’s a cool poem and that he’s skilled at his craft. Now with that being said, let’s break this video down.

First off, the obvious: The guy is a total Beta. Effeminate, high-pitched voice that moves really quickly and stays in the high range throughout his speech. Check. Shaky hands that gesture awkwardly. Check. Alphas can be White Knights too, but it’s far more likely a trait to be found as part of an overall Beta Behavior make-up.

As we learn from the opening section of the poem…girls didn’t really like that guy. OK, it happens. It happened to me too, I didn’t get good with them until college. But enough about me.

As we learn in the next minute or so of the poem, when the poet realized girls just didn’t like him, he took the next logical step: at least try to be friends with him. Again, I’m not faulting him for any of this. He described a 3-year Friendzone “relationship” with a woman in which he White Knighted like a champion, listening to her complain about the guy(s) she was actually attracted to and sleeping with, helping her with her homework, generally being her emotional tampon.

After that, he goes on to describe his sex-less “girlfriend.” So a step up, he at least realized that pure friendzone wasn’t enough for him and tried to make it more romantic…but she wasn’t sleeping with him. He explains that a month after they broke up, she lost her virginity to the next guy she dated.

He was crushed, a perfectly reasonable response to realizing your sex-less girlfriend was never actually interested in you. He describes it as “feeling betrayed,” and this is where it gets really interesting. He mentions overhearing the Friendzone described as (paraphrased), “When a woman talks to the guy about other guys she’s hooking up with or wants to hook up with and asks his advice, when he does tons of favors for her, and when he does everything a boyfriend would do with absolutely no benefit to himself.”

Agreed on all points. So let’s re-cap the poet’s adventure so far:

1. Beta.

2. Bad with women.

3. Tries “friending” them into sex, having no other tools by which to attain sex for himself.

4. Gets justifiably upset when the tools he’s employing aren’t working. Not upset because “she didn’t fuck him,” per se, but upset because he’s doing something that in his mind “should” help him accomplish his goals and he’s ending up frustrated yet again. That’s enough to upset anyone, whether going after a girl, a job, a friendship, or anything else a person can try to get.

BUT THEN….

We see the emergence of White Knight. He rants about “as if the only reason to be a good fucking human being, and a good friend, is if you get something out of it.” Predictably, the audience cheers along, encouraging his “insight.”

But wait. He wasn’t doing it to be a good fucking human being. He wasn’t doing it to be a good friend. He was doing it to get something out of it. And also, those things aren’t “being a good friend” at all. Think about your best guy friend for a moment. Just take a second and picture him in your mind. Good. Now tell me, when was the last time you went over to his place just to bring him cool things and do him favors?

Let me guess…uh, never? Ever? And yet you’re still a good friend to him, I’m sure. But being a good friend and a good person has jack shit nothing to do with supplicating constantly, listening to them drone on until the end of time about their problems, or adorning them with gifts and favors.

He’s just justifying the Friendzone, again, to the predictable applause of women and other White Knights in the audience.

He then makes the (correct) statement that “that girl didn’t owe me ANYTHING.” He’s right, she didn’t. He was acting as if she did. Again, not being a good friend–being “nice” in the hopes of a sexual reward. Because…

White knights are passive-aggressive assholes.

The exact opposite of the image they seek to portray. Doing things for people only to get something in return. So like I said, he acknowledges the flaw in his strategy, going on to lambast people who try to trade kindness for sex. Again, agree with him completely there. He even acknowledges that he was being an asshole by viewing sex as a transaction.

But the part he’s missing is that Friendzone girl (the one before his girlfriend) intentionally, knowingly strung him along for three years, telling him maybe they’d get married later, all while fucking other dudes and using him for attention and validation. Is THAT what a good friend does? Is THAT what “a good fucking human being” does? No. You’re right, Poet Man, those girls don’t owe you anything, and the point you’re missing is…you don’t owe them anything, either. You don’t owe them continued emotional support, kindness, attention, flattery and favors.

He has not mentioned a single nice thing any of these women did for him, only what he did for them. So from that we can probably assume he was the only being “being a good fucking human being” in these scenarios, when he should have just ignored them completely once he realized they were using him (which he still hasn’t, from the sound of it).

Yet he defends his endless supplication as “being a good friend,” but enough about that. Let’s move on to the next level of this poet’s journey towards White Knight La-La Land:

Why is he performing this? That seems obvious. In the hope that women will hear him recant his former days as “a guy who tried to trade friendship for sex, but has since learned and become such a great guy.” Obviously, in his mind, once they hear about what a great guy he’s turned into since learning the errors of his ways, they will fawn over him and throw pussy at him day and night. And they might, because he’s a good performer. But not because of the message, something the White Knight may never understand.

So let’s add to the list:

We had Beta, bad with girls, friending them, etc. Now we can also add showing them what a great guy he is, and how he’s different from other guys. He seeks to actively separate himself from other men by displaying that he’s “not like that,” yet another tool in the White Knight arsenal.

He continues his insane, nonsensical rant by referencing some made-up statistics about sexual assault, stating that “it’s hard for us to accept how easily we become part of the problem.” As if a normal guy “might” “accidentally” turn into a criminal at a moment’s notice. Which is stupid, and not how criminality works. You don’t “accidentally” murder someone, you don’t “accidentally” steal something, and you certainly don’t “accidentally” become a rapist. If you’re a good person, like most people tend to be, you’re at practically zero risk for accidentally “becoming part of the problem.”

And this stage is his final metamorphosis, from “Bad With Women” to “White Knight” to “Full-Fledged, Certified Mangina.” He simultaneously justifies and admonishes his White Knight actions, and takes that last leap into the most pathetic attempt to get into girls’ pants he’s shown us:

He allies himself with the Sisterhood. Rollo Tomassi calls this “Identification Game,” whereby a guy hopes to get laid by identifying with the “The Feminist Imperative.”

He makes this Ultimate Mangina move by lambasting men for not realizing that “they might just be accidental rapists,” and finally bringing it to a head by encouraging men everywhere to “see the monster in the mirror.”

I looked in the mirror after watching this video. Nope, no monster. Not a rapist. Just a guy who’s sick of having male sexuality associated with “maybe raping” and “being the boogeyman” and “being part of the problem” simply because I have XY chromosomes. His presupposition is that, since you’re a guy, you need to “recognize the monster in your own skin.”

Fuck you, Poet Guy. Being a man does not make me or any other guy a monster. By trying to ally yourself with the Feminist cause, by which all men are bed and scary monsters, you’re just bringing your White Knightery to a new level and once again trying to demonstrate how “different you are from other guys” since you “get how evil men are simply because they’re men.”

And this is what I fight. White Knights, who hate themselves for the simple reason that they’re men, allowing Feminist programming to indoctrinate their minds against their own genders. At their core, as I’ve mentioned before, they are self-loathing men who will live in constant cognitive dissonance over feeling regular feelings, and feeling ashamed of said feelings.

All because that’s what the Feminists told them to think and feel.

I would say “I hope all this gets you laid, Poet Man,” but I really hope it doesn’t. He is a gender turncoat, a traitor to men everywhere, throwing the whole gender under the bus just in the hopes that some woman (or women) will recognize the sacrifice and throw herself at him for “understanding her.”

So, Poet Man, I hope your dick stays as dry as it always has. Maybe then you’ll Man The Fuck Up, stop hating your own gender, and actually get people to respect you on your own merits instead of the ideas that others have instilled in you.

*EDIT: I wasn’t the only one to hate on this poet douche. A few days after I wrote this article, Heartiste included him in the “Beta Of The Month” Contest. Check it out here:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/08/30/beta-of-the-month-epic-showdown/

8 thoughts on “The Evolution of A White Knight

  1. Sometimes the white knight genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing; in a way, it is him convincing himself how he is actually better than other guys. When I was a die-hard white knight, it was because my Churchianity upbringing brainwashed me into thinking that being the nicest, goodliest, self-sacrificing doormat was the key to a woman’s heart. White knights believe in pure romance, they think showering someone with love IS love. They are truly living in the hell brought about by being naturally weak.

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  2. Protip: if your literary interpretation is nonsensical, it’s probably wrong. Hence, when you say things like “that’s stupid,” it’s probably because you’ve already determined what you want to say about this piece and have to figure out a way to make all the pieces fit.

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  3. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2013/10/09 | Free Northerner

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